By UB Clinical Intern, Rebecca Zalman


Adult caregivers face a lot of stress when caring for aging parents. Beyond, navigating the role reversal there are the constant emergencies and interruptions in daily life. In addition, many times when a parent reenters our life it can bring up old emotions and feelings of anger and resentment. A USA TODAY/ABC News/Gallup poll of 500 boomers with living parents found that 31% of them are providing financial or personal care assistance to a parent. Slightly less than half of those providing help say it has caused them some stress or a great deal of stress.

What are some ways you can deal with this stress?

1. Make sure you take care of yourself.

It is crucial to make sure your physical needs get met, that you are eating, sleeping and exercising to avoid feeling run down. It is also important to take the time to connect with friends and others for support in order to avoid feeling isolated and alone.

2. Ask for help.

Make a list of things that others siblings and family members can do and ask them to help you.

3. Use community resources.

Consider asking a geriatric care manager to coordinate aspects of your loved one's care. Other services you might utilize include home health aides, home repair services or volunteers or staff from faith-based organizations or civic groups.

4. Deal with your feelings.

Share any negative feelings with friends and family.  Seek support from those in a similar situation. Make an appointment with a professional counselor, or join a caregiver support group.

5. Find time to relax.

Make sure you take the time to do things you find pleasurable in order to renew your energy. Mindfulness or relaxation exercises are good skills to learn and use.

6. Get organized.

Use calendars or to do lists to make sure you keep track of appointments and medication schedules. Make sure your prioritize tasks and don’t agonize if you can’t get to everything.

7. Say no if you need to.

Know your boundaries and understand that you cannot do everything. Be upfront about your limitations and don’t feel guilty about it.

8. Stay Positive.

Do your best to stay positive. Resolve conflicts with family members if possible. Focus on the things you are able to do and remind yourself of the rewards of caring for someone you love.

The following are all booklets that include step-by-step instructions on the basics of providing care.

• Family Caregiver Handbook (PDF) Washington State Aging and Disability Services Administration or order a free, printed copy.
• Caregiver Guide from Children of Aging Parents
• Caregiver Guide – National Institute on Aging
• How to Care: Your Eldercare Survival Guide Caregiver Manual from Strengthforcaring.com

To speak to a counselor about stress you are facing as a caregiver please contact UB's Intake Coordinator at  This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or 888-726-7170 x1 and visit our website at www.urbanbalance.org.