When people think of couples counseling, they may imagine a very traditional situation in which a therapist works with a married man and woman to address any number of issues that we may all deal with to some extent or another in our relationships. These issues include communication problems, issues related to finances, boundaries, division of labor issues, intimacy, infidelity, and conflict resolution. Fortunately, in recent decades the notion of “traditional” couples’ counseling has expanded to include a much larger demographic, which encompasses non-married couples as well as gay and lesbian couples.

But what happens when a couple decides not to be monogamous? What if they are in a committed, but open, relationship? Polyamory is defined by the National Coalition of Sexual Freedom (NCSF) as “a lifestyle in which a person may have more than one romantic relationship with consent and support expressed for this choice by each of the people concerned.” As the definition suggests, polyamory is a consensual lifestyle that not only shares many of the same issues faced by monogamous couples, but also entails a number of unique challenges that may present in therapy.

One of the major issues associated with polyamory is negative stigma. While polyamory challenges many traditional notions of committed relationships, recent studies by the NCSF have suggested that the overall psychological and emotional health of polyamorist individuals is about the same as those who prefer monogamous relationships. Nonetheless, polyamorists are rejected by many religious institutions, and are not recognized by a number of laws that benefit or protect traditional couples. In addition to stigma, open relationships must also address a number of issues that are not as much of a challenge for monogamous couples. An example of this is the sharing of time and resources between different members of the relationship, as well as how to navigate tasks like raising children.

If you are in a polyamorous relationship and would like to seek more specific resources, including a list of “poly-friendly” counselors, feel free to visit the NCSF website at www.ncsfreedom.org. Additionally, Urban Balance has therapists that are “poly-friendly” who can offer help for individuals and couples from diverse sexual and relational orientations.

For more information, please contact Urban Balance at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it