by Joyce Marter, LCPC
We live in a consumer based, material society that bombards us with messages that what we have is never enough. We are flooded with messages in the media that we need to purchase products and services in order to attain ideal beauty, a luxurious lifestyle and subsequent love and happiness. We are trained to believe we are somehow never enough nor do we have enough, which drives us to purchase and consume the material. This emphasis on what we don’t have can lead us to feel inadequate, inferior and even lower our self-esteem and exacerbate depression and negative thinking.
Negative thinking is a downward spiral that can attract all forms of negativity in our lives through self-fulfilling prophecy. For example, let’s say somebody believes her home is not adequate to entertain until they have a nicer television and furniture. Essentially, this means she feels unlovable unless she has this stuff. She doesn’t invite people over because she is ashamed that she doesn’t have what she thinks she is supposed to have. Therefore, she doesn’t nurture her friendships in this manner and the friendships start to fade. The belief that she is unlovable is then reinforced through self-fulfilling prophecy.
A very powerful way to alleviate negative thinking is to consciously practice gratitude. Instead of looking at what we don’t have, what we need, or what we want, we focus on what we have in a way that is mindful and thankful. This shift in thinking can cause us to see “the glass half full” rather than “the glass half empty”. It can help us to focus on the good parts of things, rather than the bad. This focus on gratitude can cause a profound shift in our lives toward the positive.
There has been a lot of literature in recent years on the “laws of attraction." The idea being that our thoughts and beliefs attract people and situations into our lives. Some believe that by practicing gratitude, we will shift our energy to be more positive and therefore attract more positive opportunities into our lives. Like attracts like. We all enjoy being around others who are positive and we can feed off that energy exponentially.
A woman who was having very serious marital problems recently went to volunteer in a 3rd world country. When she came back she said, “I have no problems”. The experience of being of service and giving to those without shifted her to a perspective of gratitude. She had a new appreciation for all of her blessings in life and her marital challenges were seen in a more clear perspective.
Perhaps all of us can call to mind somebody in our lives or in history who has survived great hardship or adversity but who demonstrates tremendous appreciation for being alive or for blessings many of us take for granted. Sometimes we all get so caught up in the "gerbil wheels" of our lives that our focus can become quite self-centered and small.
Creating Gratitude Resources It is difficult to balance ego and gratitude at the same time. Practicing gratitude can be a way of consciously changing and widening your perspective to one of thanks and appreciation for all that you have. This can be done during meditation, during prayer, or by using a gratitude journal.
Learn more about the power of gratitude at:
www.oprah.com/spirit/The-Power-of-Gratitude
How to keep a Gratitude Journal: http://www.serenejourney.com/2009/03/gratitude-journal-30-days-to-happiness/
Gratitude Journal phone application: http://happytapper.com/gratitude-journal/
Gratitude meditation: http://www.lestout.com/video/religion-spirituality/spiritual-journeys/gratitude-meditation-deepak-chopra.html.