By Bridget Jordan, who is a graduate student at Northwestern’s Masters of Counseling Psychology Program and UB Business & Marketing Associate.
Arriving at a milestone birthday marks the beginning of a new decade, which can be anxiety provoking for some. While age can be thought of as just a number, turning 40 or the big 5-0, can prompt fears and heighten sensitivity to mortality, societal and personal expectations, disappointments, and our culture’s ageism. Additionally, closing the door on a decade and facing a new one can also contribute to anxiety. But not to worry, there are several ways that can help us cope, think positively about, and yes even accept our age.
While time passes silently and surreptitiously, when we approach a milestone birthday, we are forced to think about how much time has gone by. Since time is elusive, we often look for physical signs of aging and may even contemplate how many more birthdays we will celebrate. The days of feeling invincible and taking youth for granted seem to be replaced with more corporeal feelings and living more cautiously. This noticeable shift in outlook can have effects on our belief systems, relationships, and everyday life. Unfortunately for some, it can also lead to anxiety about health, illness and death. However, reaching a milestone birthday can also help to increase awareness about oneself and one’s life.
This newfound awareness may help achieve self-acceptance, better self-care and gratitude for the life we have
Age is often used as a marker for where we think we ought to be in life. For example, a woman turns 30 is disappointed that she isn’t married with children. Her disappointment may be the result of several factors, including feeling like she failed to attain something that she should have by 30. She is depressed, anxious and has been having automatic thoughts such as, “I’m never going to get married or have a family.” However, why did she pick the arbitrary age of 30 as the marker for when she should be married with children? It turns out that the woman’s mother gave birth to her when she was 30 and most of her 30 year-old friends are married with children. So to her, 30 represents a common age to be married with children. However, it’s important to remind oneself that:
Every individual takes a unique journey through life and experiences milestones at different times. Try shifting your focus off of societal norms and pressures and onto determining what feels right for you and your life
We live in a youth obsessed culture and are constantly inundated with images of youthful looking faces and bodies. We watch celebrities turn 40 and 50, yet appear not a day over 30. And unlike countries such as Japan that sees old age as synonymous with wisdom and knowledge, the U.S. treats age quite differently. Ageism is prevalent in the U.S. and is felt by both men and women. However, we are living longer than ever before thanks to advancements in medical care and knowledge, therefore we can feel 40 when we are 60!
Regular exercise, eating healthy, maintaining positive relationships and continuing to participate in life can all help combat depression and ageism.
If you’d like to re-evaluate your life and make sure you are creating the life you want and moving forward personally and professionally, consider counseling or therapy at Urban Balance. For more information, contact This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .