It is common for us all to become so busy at some points in our lives to the point where we start finding it difficult to manage all our responsibilities at work, school, home, family, friends, and our relationships. It is easy during these periods for self care to sink to the bottom of the list of priorities. We often take care of everyone and everything else before taking care of ourselves. Then our tank is empty and we might feel exhausted, depleted, resentful, stressed or even depressed. It is extremely important for all of us to move our self care from the bottom of the list to the very top.

Some people feel that making themselves first in their lives is selfish. But the familiar “oxygen mask” analogy is a good illustration of why this is not selfish, but on the contrary, necessary to be able to provide for others in the long run. When the flight attendant tells us that in the event of an emergency we must secure our own oxygen mask before assisting others, the reason is that if we don't take care of our own needs first we will be unable to help anybody else. Taking good care of ourselves is actually the best way to be a healthy resource for our employers, families, and friends.

Your Own Best Parent

The basics of self care involve being a good “parent” to yourself. To help start this process, ask yourself these fundamental questions on core self care topics:

• Nutrition – Are you eating what you would feed your child or somebody you love very much?

• Sleep – Are you getting enough rest?

• Exercise – Are you taking care of your body and releasing stress?

• Water – Are you drinking enough water?

• Medical – Are you going to the doctor/dentist regularly?

• Money – Are you managing your money in a way that keeps you feeling safe and secure?

• Grooming – Are you taking the time to feel your best?

• Socialization – Are you connecting with people enough?

• Solitude – Are you getting enough “down” time?

• Sexual – Are you feeling safe, happy and satisfied in your sexual life?

• Work – Are you doing work that is meaningful and rewarding and are you being paid right?

• Home – Are you making your place a home that is happy, restful and pleasant for you?

• Leisure/Hobbies – Are you making time for fun and relaxation

We must also go beyond the basics of self care to really relish in self love. Self care practices do not need to cost a lot of money. Here is a list of some self care practices you could work into your lifestyle:

• Deep breathing

• Meditation

• Yoga

• Hot baths

• Making yourself your favorite tea

• Reading a book

• Gardening

• Making art

Make Sure It Really Is Self Care

Sometimes self destructive behaviors are disguised as self care. For example, people might think that because they are stressed out they “deserve” excessive drinking, smoking, drugs, compulsive shopping, gambling, and other behaviors that can be self destructive. Self care practices should promote health and wellness in your life.

Prioritize and Practice

We all have areas of self care that we are better about practicing than others. Make a conscious effort to improve in the areas you tend to neglect yourself. Nobody is perfect, we are all a work in process. Block out time in your schedule for your self care. Even if it is 20 minutes a day and build from there. Review this list once a week or month until practicing self care becomes second nature for you. Buddy up with a friend and check in on each other's self care every week or two.

Make yourself a priority and experience your life improve. If you have difficulty implementing self care practices into your life because of deep seeded belief that somehow you are not important enough to deserve this care, consider seeking the help of a professional therapist at UB.

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Office Note: A reminder for Chicago residents, UB now has two Chicago counseling office locations. UB's main office is downtown at 180 N Michigan ave, and our newest UB therapist office is in Ravenswood, convenient to Metra and Brown Line.