by Joyce Marter, LCPC
Every family has its issues, and we are all shaped and molded into who we are (to varying degrees) by our families of origin. Old family roles and dynamics can get triggered during the holidays and buried issues can resurface. We all tend to regress to a less mature state around our families, and assume old communication and relationship patterns. For example, your older sister starts bossing everyone around and your younger brother doesn’t lift a finger but is praised by your parents.
People are stressed due to travel and finances issues, especially in this economy. High expectations to be close and have a good time can cause pressure and tension. Perhaps there is an unresolved issue in the family, or the family is adjusting to a life transition like a marriage, death or divorce. Sometimes if you haven’t seen people in a while there is pressure to report what you have accomplished or sometimes you need to face people and explain a hard situation like a job loss or a break up.
Families are systems and we are each a part of the machine—if one member is not in a good place, the whole family dynamic can be thrown off.