Effectively managing boundaries is an extremely important aspect of achieving balance and wellness in our lives.
by UB's Joyce Marter, LCPC
We all have different comfort levels with various aspects of our relationships personally and professionally. Our natural boundary styles are affected by past experience and this should be considered normal. But sometimes your boundaries may be causing problems in your personal or professional life, and may need to be consciously redefined.
To better define what boundaries are, here is a list of common boundary types:
- Physical (our need for space versus connection)
- Sexual (with who, where, when, how, style of dress, behavior)
- Informational (how much we tell others and the rate of disclosure)
- Professional (appropriate versus inappropriate)
- Personal (balancing connection with solitude)
- Financial (what we share with others versus our need for separateness)
- Social Networking (do you connect and share with many or few)
- Time (time spent on work, alone, socially)
Again, our style of managing boundaries is shaped by our family-of-origin and past experience. For example some people may have grown up in families with poor boundaries, where family members were enmeshed, and there was poor separation or identity development. Others may have grown up in families where there was disconnection, secrecy or formality that impaired intimacy. Not all of us grew up in environments that promoted healthy self esteem, role definition, and boundary development.